Thinking

Time Stress Change

All three things. I am going to be really honest, I am pretty stressed out but a few things. Really thinking about it really to get down to business of self and reality change, a few things stand out.

  • I shouldn’t have take the coding class on, but my logic was sound.
  • I should be really looking for a new job as well ( although well get to this in a second)
  • Yup, too many commitments, just a few.
  • There are a few I can’t say even in the blog without repercussions, but I will say others people are making somethings worse ( and thats always the way). You have to take one thing at a time, what is the piece you can make better.

Now earlier in this domagick challenge, I had mentioned that yes I was dealing with alot including Death, but I do not even have time to make code changes to the template, thats kinda of a fail on my part. I can tell too because I am starting to get angry when other people’s demons interfere with timings. Actually dealing with other meltdowns, pettiness, and shit is why I am probably so socially isolating myself. I do not have the bandwidth for any bullshit. I need to reign that in. I will be blunt, I don’t deal with emotionally charged situations that I think are way off the mark as far as reactions go well. I generally treat it as manipulation and in some cases you’d have a tough sell to convince me its not at least unconsious control techniques.

The flaw there is mine. You cant change anyone ( ok well maybe you can with particularly potent binding magic), but at that point its not worth trying to kid yourself that its anything like a real “connection”.

I need to embrace a serious level of involved yet Shiva like detachment with laser focus. Hence the actual object concentration work.

That part of this challenge isn’t going so well, and that should really make sense based on what I am saying. This is where we literally can start matching up the internal state to the social state and thus the energy state. They all inter-relate. Purposesly

Now I knew I took the bootcamp coding on as a sort of strategic idea based on the results of a Lucifer summoning. I had to take the chance for a different road.

I love teaching.

So teaching coding should make the process of coding eh, less problematic. Truth is, while I can do it, its still a pain in the ass, and I really am over it. I still hate the over the top puppy dog attitude of newer developers. Sure I have mixed feelings, on learning new stuff, but it is stressful. I love learning stuff and working through it, but not at the timeframe I have to do it in. I like the teaching, but have really mixed feelings on the subject. Coding is tedious to me alot of the time.

The Jury is out on whether or not its a good idea, but it was worth taking a shot. I am learning about myself. Sometimes, you have to try something to rule it out, since it looks on paper good.

Thought I could “make the coding better” by doing that .. and maybe it will when I dont have to teach and learn, but right now.. not so sure. There was no real way to move forward without it.

This relates to the body talisman and gigong work directly. I have a lot of energy going out and if the things do not really bring joy or there isn’t really a strong motivation, the things are intensely draining, when I am struggling with … well energy. Too many really unsatisfying interactions and activities and thats where you start looking at where to cut and doing something different else you get drained, and then sick.

The Toastmasters Problem

I am part of a Toastmaster group, I am trying to better my public speaking. I will be blunt, this year the toastmaster stuff is not going well. I was “voted” in absentia as an officer and the group dynamics and group culture is horrible for me in a lot of ways. I really am outsider, I don’t have time to work on the speeches, the group is terrible at logistics, and gives lip service to getting new people in, but really it very insular.

The question I always want to ask, outside the endless group pressures, is why should I care about the Toastmaster merit badges. I want to get better at speaking and speaking for profit, end stop.

Desire for getting better at that speaking Versus The Reality of the vehicle not working

How is this related to Qigong.

Glad you asked. Qigong is about pulling energy in and out, but the real goal is to stop the bleeding of unneeded energy loss. To make life corrections based on the how the energy us coming in and out. This is the little talked about spiritual effect of what should happen if you are meditating on the Qigong process. You don’t have to work nearly as hard to replenish your energy if shit is working on the point of Joy and at least you are motivated to do some things. If you have to force yourself to do anything, like go to work in the morning cause, you hate it… thats shit is draining chi fast.

I should be motivated to make Toastmasters work. I want to get supremely awesome at public speaking. I am good, but not supremely awesome. The endless group pressures, lack of value add, and nepotistic social merit badges are all seriously energy drains. It gets in the way of the goal which DOES bring me energy, it makes the goal not possible, and it makes stuff odd.

Of course, so is my frustration at not having the time to really work on the speeches with the correct time.
Taking together, this is actually why Qigong should not be considered so simple. Reflecting on the energy loss accross multiple domains of life, and then trying to rebuild

This is why in westernized Qigong and Buddhism, everything revolves around the concept of being happy which is definately a kinda of sugar laden mc-Qigong of spiritual diabetes. That and fear sells well.
Instead we still should be concentrating on meaning, and motivation in relation to what is bringing motivation ( which is a symptom of more energy, not the cause, but you can use Qigong to build motivation because the process goes both ways).

Pastoral Apostle Coaching and Using the principle of Thought

So I met with this pretty hard co re Christian coach who took is models for evangellical apostle missionary work and applied it to business. Now, he had a pretty clear model and it would be very effective. After the 5000 he was asking for in an intensive, and 400 a month for a coaching session. Yeah that kinda of $$$.

Now, I respected the dude. I am probably not his best choice of customer as the Christinity would throw me off, but I still might bite.

There are several aspects of the system but most boil down to finding elements of joy and motivation, then setting expectations low enough to make progress. A fine strategy. What the system does though, kinda revealed another problem.

I could do something exactly like this. In fact, I might not sell it the way he did, but I could come up with a 4 element system that produces a 5 result .. ( ehem western elements yo).

The system basically uses a technique I learned in Design thinking. Repeating a few things, like categorizing things to 3-7 things ( 5 in this case), then repeating

See the flaw for a multi-dimensional thinker, all that shit is a pretty extreme and vulgar simplification of a system.

Pick 5 thinks in the past, present future of tools you like. Use 4 areas of life, in careful categories, that sumarize all reality for you.

See the connection to McSpirituality and Mc-Answers. This is actually what will sell. I am not so concerned with the specifics of his system…. but what he put together. I know I could do it and I do not, cause the Mc-Answers get to me. Life is complicated, but all these systems simplify things too far.

Do they work, eh that is a maybe, but they have to help since they are focusing tools. So again, where does the issue lay… If you thought I might say in me, you would be correct. My need to think multi-dimensionally is an addition, a crutch. Applying this to others and their needs, are pointless. Its a need to be percieved as intelligent. No doubt, a partial reaction to negative feedback from my first book which was accessible, but some ehem, jealous haters, trashed because it was not intellectually elitist enough. Read that as anyone could understand it.

Now, I could use NLP, or I could find the energy tied to the mental construct, and use the GODDAMN Qigong. I just have to keep doing it, starting from a clear space, think about that issue which should be nasty in feeling, and dissolve it.

If you got that, its a big hint how hypnosis, Qigong and cognitive science all interact together. Like where that line is going, well I take much further in my shapeshifting course.